with photos by Patrick Means.
It started out familiar – Erik fixing another’s bike in the last minutes so they wouldn’t miss all the fun. Then, things took a turn for the worst. Patty Means showed up in a one-piece, flower printed, romper. I was initially jealous. Then I saw him bend over and noticed his heart-shaped ass. I reached down and gave it a cup-shaped pat. Confirmed – no padding. No longer jealous but still impressed as he was committed to riding all 80 miles without a chamois. These are the characters that seem to flock to Sellwood Cycle Repair and Dirty Fingers bike shops – the best.
It’d been months since I’d seen many of my favorites on bikes. And as we rolled up the hour long climb to start the Dirty Sellwood ride, the reunion and cackling began. Awkward chatter turned to clever puns and dirty S&M jokes. It’s a special crew. And after a few pee stops and couple hours of friendly pedaling we landed on a bridge with margaritas, snacks, and our best sports illustrated swimsuit photo shots. This was the halfway point.
It only takes one to ruin a party. It’s usually Erik, but this years party pooper goes to Jacob Rathe, who eagerly started challenging Tonkin on the 10 mile climb just after the margarita halftime show. Shortly after, the gentlemen’s ride turned kamikaze. Jacob and newly acquired Team S&M CX rider Robert Cummings proved strongest as all other’s suicide attacks were left to limp up the rest of the NF-4610 haggard and ruined. At least the elite CX ladies weren’t around to turn the screws on us.
The battles continued for the remainder of the ride. Occasionally Patty’s romper would cause a distraction as we made bets on what mile post his romper would be rubbed crotchless. And as we descended the last bits, I realized how much I missed my odd and authentic friends that seem to flock to our favorite shops. Maybe what makes our crew special is we’re not a gated community. People can come and go as they please and be as they please.
Back at camp beers were and were not consumed. More photos were taken. A “happy birthday” was sung. Patty removed his romper. And I left before love could catch me.
*** Special thank you to everyone who came together to make this ride extra special. Thank you to Kona Bicycle Company, Hifi Sound Cycling Components, Bob’s Red Mill, Coava Coffee Roasters, Astral Cycling, and Michelle Loftus.